Let's bend a few rules, Cousin
by Crossover19
Summary: Captain(now Commander) Holly Short has a cousin, and that cousin is in the LEP. Artemis now has Children and lets me say they have a fun childhood, almost as bizarre as Artemis's. I suck at summaries. Rated T for future violence and language
1. Chapter 1

**This is set about 14 years after Last Guardian**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl Sadly, Eion Colfer does, I do though own the plot and several OCs**

_**Prologue**_

The shots were shot over his head, he heard the shots hitting something,

_Please don't be Holly please don't let it be Holly_

"Come out wherever you are, little fairy you will never grow up to your cousin's shoes!" a voice cooed. Shots were fired again raining down on him, "I never seen Anyone so gullible, just like your father, come to think of it you are honestly like your cousin too, not to mention your uncle too, all of you are gullible it runs in the family doesn't it?"

A buzz and static rung in his ear communicator

" don't listen, they are going to be playing games with your head"

"Yes Cous" he replies into his mike.

"What did I say about calling me Cousin While on the job Captain?" The voice replies, who was, of course, Commander Holly Short.

"My apologies, Commander" the captain responds ducking to avoid being sliced in half with a bullet.

"what is your status, Captain Short?"

"Several cuts otherwise fine"

"I guess bad luck runs in the family" he mutters as he fired a shot back only to receive two dozen fired back.

"Tell me about it," said Holly as she rolled to him avoiding a shot.

"I can't contact an old friend and as soon as I step out of a shuttle we get abducted and-"

A bullet streaked through the air and pierced into Holly's heart.

"Holly!"

"D'arvit," she smiles and winces, "go and save Athena and Holly. That's the last order I will ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it."

"Sorry Holly but I have other plans" he replied his voice was getting on a tone Holly knew all too well.

"Don't call me Holly! You always do that before you disobey me," Holly winces and the life from her eyes start to fade now.

"Goodbye Cousin tell Artemis and Butler that I will miss them, Be well, my cousin"

The elf kneeled next to his commander, his cousin, his last living kin. And then he did something stupid only a Short would do.

**Oh how I hate cliffhangers but I just had to Sorry! What did the captain do? Who is this captain what is his name? **

**I am stil working on Artemis reads though I do still think no one will read it. I did add some OCs I am sorry I had to.**

**Also, what do you think happened? did anyone see where I got Holly's "last" words from?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"Fowl! You are so lucky that right now that I am not strangling you " Holly growls when Artemis picks up on the second ring

"Holly if you strangle me, I don't think I can survive to die again" Artemis retorts, his voice friendly but you can see that he was tired. He did have two children to take care of and they are geniuses too.

"I second that, but we don't have time for that" Foaly answers.

"Foaly, please don't tell me that the fairy's need my help, I do have kids you know and I want to spend time with them instead of running off and dealing with near-death situations." Artemis chuckles.

Holly actually giggles in a way that Foaly hasn't seen her in a decade after becoming commander of the LEP

"D'arvit mud boy Wing Commander Kelp was transferred to Section 8 an-" Foaly starts before Wing Commander Trouble Kelp busted the door, open, causing it to fall down and then one of the techies comes and put it back into place mumbling about getting a new door.

"Foaly, what is so urgent I had to come all the way here from Atlantis?" Trouble Kelp said his face contorted in a rosy complexion that Commander Root had. (A/N: I know that section 8 isn't in Atlantis)

"You know the door can open no need to bust it off its hinges" Foaly muttered

"I sometimes think beetroot is still here, first Trouble who was already mini Root, while being a Major then Holly who took on his complexion not even month in business"

Artemis laughs

"I heard that Centaur!" Trouble growls

"Commander! The goblin riots are-" said an LEP captain busting through the Ops door that was already broken the door fell down again.

"D'arvit" Foaly swears

The captain only stops when he sees Holly with her Neutrino drawn.

"D'arvit, Captain don't do that, You know that I am jittery, with the goblin riots and then all this news about….I really don't want to kill anyone"

The Captain who seems to gather his composure salutes and clicks his heels, standing at attention

"Wing Commander Kelp, Commander Short"

"at ease Captain, " Holly said

The Captain relaxed his body.

"Likewise Captain Short" replied Trouble stoically

"Captain Short? Holly is that your little brother?" Artemis says from the screen his eyebrow raised,

Before Holly can reply The LEP Captain interrupts

"you must be the infamous Artemis Fowl"

Artemis nods, Holly let it slide that he interrupted her though they would talk later.

"Captain Rowan Short, first cousin of Commander Holly Short who I presume you know, My father was Major Alexander Short" The LEP captain, Rowan states.

"As you know I am Artemis Fowl the Second, I presume your father was Major Alex Short brother to Major Nolan Short?"

"Yes," the captain nods and turns toward his commander.

"Rowan, please tell me what is going on with the goblin riots is everything under order?"

"yes, commander the riots are taken care of. I just wanted to ask you if I can go up to perform the Ritual I am running low, Cousin" Rowan said, a crafty grin on his face,

"I guess but don't get kidnapped I don't think the Council will be willing to pay in gold again, that is an order" Holly laughed as Artemis' face hardened but amusement flickered across his eyes.

"don't worry my kidnapping days are over, though my daughters, Athena in particular, is a different story" Artemis chuckles.

"I won't though, I heard you didn't follow orders when you were a Captain, Holly" Rowan replies

"Captain I did follow the rule but I did bend a few but for the sake of the People"

"Bend a few, Holly really? You disobeyed almost all of the rules in the book and half the orders Root gave you" Trouble snorts.

"Like I said several times already, Holly you either don't have a Book or you never opened it" Foaly snickers

"Father!" A voice from the other side of the screen cried out, Artemis sighed.

"Coming Holly!" He sighed again and looked sheepishly at Holly and Rowan, who was grinning

"Hey-"

" yes I did name one of my children after Commander Short, though that was on Minerva's insistence"

Foaly snickers

"I do see the similarities between you two, red hair hazel eyes same brown skin, some might think you are twins but Holly has a blue eye and of course the age difference, are you sure he isn't your brother Holly?" Artemis says clearly thinking.

"Yes, of course, I am sure, Mud boy!"

" I am sorry but I have to go and see what My child wants, as she has somewhat Minerva's temper and then if I want to live I better go see what she wants"

Rowan laughs,

"That sounds like Holly, though she would scorch you with her neutrino, then knock you senseless and then plot revenge with Mulch or Foaly in the most extreme cases with you Artemis," Trouble says earning an I-will-kill-you-later glare from the female commander.

Artemis says goodbye and then signs off. Rowan laughs again and whispers good luck to Trouble as he leaves.

"I probably need it,"

Foaly was laughing his flanks off when Holly did actually take out her neutrino and a scorched Trouble, though she did this when Rowan closed the door.

"I regret saying that" wheezes Trouble,

"You should, Ter-" Holly starts her face had a mischievous smile spread from ear to ear.

"Trouble, my name is Trouble Holly," the commander interjects before Holly can finish saying his name, Terrence

"Holly, wait you know his real name, please tell me!" whinnies Foaly.

"Oh you didn't know Foaly I thought Terrence already told you"

"Terrence, Terrence! Ha, Trouble's real name is Terrence!" cries out Foaly laughing.

Holly laughs with Foaly as Trouble gets on a rosy complexion that would rival Julius.

"Major Short-"

"Commander Short, Trouble I am a commander like you now, go complain to the Council that I told Foaly your name, go and complain as Grub would" mocked Holly laughing.

"Don't you dare insult my brother-"

"I am not insulting I am simply stating facts"

Trouble was obviously pissed off, he was a scarlet color, for a brown elf that is a big achievement.

He actually growled, then his face changed and turned serious. "Centaur, why did you call for me to come here all the way from Atlantis?"

"Wing Commander there have been some abnormal amounts of radiation at Chernobyl, but as we know there was an accident in 1986. That led to some mutations of fairies" Foaly brings up a picture on the plasma screen.

Troubles and Holly's jaws drop.

It was Turnball Root apparently with Briar Cudgeon, and they were flying.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: **_**please don't kill me! I know I should have updated sooner but my life is utter chaos right now! **

_**Chapter 2**_

As we know Artemis has two children and they are geni. Minerva and Artemis started dating in their early 20's only getting married at 23. They now have two children, to be exact twins.

Holly Fowl and Athena Fowl.

How do you describe these two? Oh, they do they have an intellect and they know it. And what do you get when two geni have kids? Well, you get even smarter kids. But they don't go around kidnapping fairies and ransoms get them for gold or going to the Arctic to rescue their father and stop goblin rebellion. No, they have a normal, boring life, but that will change soon.

Holly Fowl was of course named after Commander Holly Short an old time friend to Artemis and Minerva. Holly Fowl has blonde hair and Minerva's blue eyes she is, in fact, an identical copy of her mother.

But don't let that fool you, she has her father's personality. She and her bodyguard, Domovoi Conner son of Juliet Butler are a dangerous mix. Domovoi will beat you to pulp while Holly will send you to a mental hospital. Holly is Older than Athena by 5.5 minutes(don't ask). Now on to Athena Fowl, her name was originally a joke made by Minerva's brother Beau. Saying that "if you have to geni kids one of them should be Athena isn't she like the goddess of wisdom?" but the name stuck. Athena has raven black hair and piercing sapphire blue eyes. She looks like the female version of her father though her personality is like her mothers and well Beckett Fowl who is now 26. She and her bodyguard Diana Conner are like Domovoi Butler Sr. and Artemis Junior. Now on with the story.

"father!" Holly cries out from her room where she and her sister Athena are in.

"Coming, Holly" came the reply

Holly and Athena waited for a little before their father came in, "Holly what did you need?"

"Root is chewing on my instruments" complained Holly, picking up her pincers and showing the bite marks. Root is the family dog, he is a German Shepherd and has a reddish coat. He reminded Artemis strangely of Root, with his somewhat short temper, but he defends the twins really good,

Root then came padding in. Root used to be a military dog, and he is always alert. Artemis bent down to pet him.

"Holly, if Root is chewing on your toys then put them on a higher shelf and away from him" Artemis answers ruffling Holly's hair. He turns around and walks out of the door. And his phone rang. Again.

He twists his fairy communicator and makes a phone with his hand. Being able to talk with his friends and looking like a two-year-old. He feels Root beside him, Artemis absently rubs Roots ears.

"What catastrophic event happened now?"

"Turn-ball and Briar"

"Fill me in NOW!"

"Ok, ok, no need to get angry! Sheesh, in Chernobyl there have been extra radioactive activity giving these 2 deceased villains a way to come back and they apparently sprouted wings,"

"D'arvit, and I thought life would get normal"

"Mud boy, life knowing you are never normal"

"Foaly, is there any way I can get my family to safety?"

Artemis heard voices from the other side, probably debating if they should take them to Haven or send LEP officers, most likely the latter.

"Okay, we are going to send a patrol up to Fowl Manor, Holly will be accompanying them," Foaly said.

"Okay" and Artemis hung up. Artemis rubbed his temples. Can't life give him at least a decade without trouble? Apparently not because that is the time a certain dwarf decided it was the best time to pop out and collapse in exhaustion. Root barks and snarls but Artemis hushes him.

"Mulch!" Artemis drops down and checks Mulch's vitals, "good your stable"

Then Artemis looks at the sign on Mulch's arm, it looks familiar, no it can't be. Artemis speed dials Foaly,

"Yes, What is it now?"

"Foaly, is LEP squadron near?"

"Yes, they should be there in the near 20-30 minutes, what happened?"

"They better here now or else we all are going to die starting with Mulch, he just popped out of nowhere and then collapsed and passed out of exhaustion"

"Oh this doesn't sound good, is Mulch okay?"

"He is stable for now" and then it happened.

**A/N: I apologize again for such a late update!**

**This is also not my best writing but this will due. I promise I will do better next time.**


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